I’m fourteen, running late for Global Studies. Breakfastless, I bolt out the door to catch the six. Instead of turning right as usual at Lexington Avenue, I take the shortcut to the station. They’re sitting at the front stoops again, right where the houses end and the deli begins. It’s humid,…
Rush Limbaugh attacked Sandra Fluke, in short, because her voice threatens to reconstitute the nature of the American public: if she were heard — if the specificity of woman’s health were publicly speakable in the hallowed halls of Congress — then we could no longer pretend that this is simply an abstract and legalistic question of “religion,” “government,” and “medicine.” It would suddenly be apparent that the female public and the male public actually have different interests and concerns when it comes to issues like sex and contraception, that contraception means something different to people with different reproductive organs. The fact that (heterosexual) men’s enjoyment of consequence-free sex is dependent on the privilege of those consequences being borne by someone else might become thinkable, if those “someone else’s” had a public platform to speak about it.
This, after all, is why “privilege” is so importantly different from power or bigotry: privilege must remain ignorant of itself, because it’s the right to enjoy benefits which you aren’t even aware that others get denied.
The following day, I attended a workshop about preventing gender violence, facilitated by Katz. There, he posed a question to all of the men in the room: “Men, what things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?”
Not one man, including myself, could quickly answer the question. Finally, one man raised his hand and said, “Nothing.” Then Katz asked the women, “What things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?” Nearly all of the women in the room raised their hand. One by one, each woman testified:
“I don’t make eye contact with men when I walk down the street,” said one.
“I don’t put my drink down at parties,” said another.
“I use the buddy system when I go to parties.”
“I cross the street when I see a group of guys walking in my direction.”
“I use my keys as a potential weapon.”
The women went on for several minutes, until their side of the blackboard was completely filled with responses. The men’s side of the blackboard was blank. I was stunned. I had never heard a group of women say these things before. I thought about all of the women in my life — including my mother, sister and girlfriend — and realized that I had a lot to learn about gender.
“This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.”—
When I was doing weekly office hours at The Hideout, I asked people for their life problems and offered one of 6 solutions: quit, break up, move out, change your appearance, jump in, or consider getting a pet fox.
Often the problem isn’t the problem, the fear of change is the problem. Practice changing.
Holding his Nikon D300 in one hand and his bold character in the other, Jason Martini roams through the streets of Chicago preying on any interesting character to shoot. Not manipulating nor staging photos, Martini uses street…
Everyone has a reason. One person was older. One person was from another country. It just doesn’t matter. If we keep this bullshit up, we’re going to crap all over another generation of women tech entrepreneurs. And it’s just a rotten thing to do. Think before you open your mouth.
And if you see someone doing this, call them on it.
Yep. And a heartwarming comment on the same article:
great post. i was at an event where an older guy (50’s married with college kids) was saying stupid flirty things to a young woman entrepreneur about how pretty she was etc. i pulled him aside and said for him to cut that shit out. so not cool. he had no idea what i was talking about. i asked him if his son was pitching me would he want me telling him how hot he looked? he got it, sent me a gift and next day and thanked me. it is never too late to learn. speak up. most of these guys have no idea what an ass they are making of themselves.
“The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty and gun availability.”—From Stack and Gundlach, The Effect of Country Music in Suicide (via zedequalszee)